Sunday, April 24, 2011

Not funny, Mr. K

Dear Mr. Gursimran Khamba ji sir (not sure if they’ve knighted you yet),

You write open letters so well. You inspired me. So I wrote one; to you.

First things first, why not add the word ‘troll’ to your Twitter bio?

First things first, you have 11000 something followers on Twitter. How cool is that? What I found cooler still is your attempt to balance out karma by writing an open letter to yourself after you wrote one to a writer you seem to particularly dislike, and so many others you have a problem with. I notice you say something to yourself about an inflated ego, even as you constantly deride others, and oh, list your ‘achievements’ in the same breath. Must be a rather sticky habit.

Anyway, the point of this letter was to tell you I am a fan (even if a hugely disagreeing one). But I'm not half as eloquent. I have that terrible problem of a small vocabulary, and before I know it, my point will have gotten across. Damn, I wish I could go on and on and write some 5000-word super blog posts like yours. But what’s the point? I don’t have an asslicking amazing set of followers, who’ll RT my post several hundred times (no matter how insensitive this letter be) and start to crack jokes about you, just because I do. I am not even half as pretty. I have what you call a BT brinjal face, minus the glasses. And I’m married with a child (so there are no random men adding me on Gtalk with pseudo marriage proposals either.) Sigh.

Tch. I deviate. I envy you. It’s so clear, no? Very few people have the gift of intelligent humour. You do. Mere mortals and mere celebrities don’t. Which is why you use your gift to piggyback them, and find stuff (inspiration is the word, is it?) for your insanely popular blog. You make people laugh with your writing; and what superb writing at that. As liberal as you are with your swear words, people draw double the vicarious pleasure of dissing those they can never be. They add so many ‘ROFLs’ (or something to that effect) and pat-on-your-back comments to every post, you think you are genuinely funny.

What you are, nine times out of ten, is vile. I’m sure you know that too, while you type away gleefully at your computer, things that most people would be terribly hurt by. All human beings (celebrities are human beings too, remember?) like to be treated well. That, dear G, is THE truth. Not swearing like there was no tomorrow. Not personally assaulting people and their weaknesses. Not packaging them as honest opinion. You are a minor celebrity too. And though you can blow this letter to bits with your clever words (you, of course, are the professional), this letter will hurt you. Even if the tiniest of bits, it will. Because it was designed to do so.

I hope you will alter your designs a little. Words are supremely powerful things. The only things, perhaps, people keep with them. You know that. You also know there are other ways to make people laugh. Pointing fingers is the least of them. Nobody likes to be told they are wrong. It isn’t funny. Try writing a (your brand of) humour post about the greatest of your fans. And you’ll see how they won’t be laughing anymore.

(P.S. Dear @gkhamba fans, as you will now realise that the phrases "no offence meant" and "in jest" don't mean anything, I am open to brickbats. #kthnxbai)


Gaurav said...

Interesting observations and a very wise choice of words. Humor can sometimes make some people laugh and the recipients sad, it all depends on which side you are on. I think that Mr. Khamba will take it sportingly.

Aquatic Static said...

Urmi, I understand where your anger comes from but what works for Khamba is that he's not just a snarky writer. He's also not *just* a gifted one. He does, through his own brand of dark humour, shed light on a lot of hypocracy around us. And I'm quite sure he knows he's pissing people off with his in-your-face approach but maybe it's one way of doing things - in complete contrast to someone like Karan Johar, who licks ass every opportunity he gets.
I actually feel a GKhamba is good for our country. We take ourselves far too seriously.
We don't have to like what he does. But then we don't need to censor him either, do we?

Ketan said...

Gursimranjeet is lot more irreverent than what I ever would be. At some corner of my mind I also realized, I laughed at his jokes, because they were not on me. I don't know if this is rationalization, but I believe, he makes butt of his joke only those who are insincere in their public gestures, and it's just that his and my assessment of public figures' insincerity coincides.

I remember an old blog post of yours where you had been lot more charitable to Shahrukh Khan and had called him brave. Perhaps because he is a bigger celebrity than Gursimranjeet. I had not been able to stomach your assertions. But the reason for that could be you and I value v/s dislike different things in people.

Urmi Chanda Vaz said...

Dear all,

Thank you for your comments. This post, more than anything else, is about differences in opinion. Let's leave it at that. I shall not attempt to explain myself.

Somisetty said...

I think he writes because he likes to and there are some jokes you want to crack but stop yourself only because they may be hurtful. I think he started off because he found this space (blog) liberating but got carried away. Now he must be wrestling with his conscience all the time and touching that nerve is the worst thing you can do to the comedy he produces. If that was your mission then good job.

Nikhil said...

To make fun 'of' is often the safest bet to keep your humor machine alive, isn't it? Everyone does it. So some newbies join the bandwagon. Originality be damned. The point is why should often only persecution be the first resort at creating humor? Sure each is entitled to his opinion, but your freedom ends where my nose starts. Gursimran try creating situational humor than personality driven humor which is oh-so-obvious. Urmi,with you on this one for sure.