Friday, April 13, 2007

Lessons from Ma

I had a fight of sorts with someone last night. 'Of sorts' because what meant to be a pacifying intent between the two original parties of the fight initially; became my fight. I know now that I shouldn't have raised my voice - as I knew then as well. But the art of controlling ones emotions, (of which temper tops the list), is something I'm trying to acquaint myself with. I managed to keep the curses in check despite of cannons of those being spewed by the other side. The curses, of course, were meant for the original other of the fight. I was just trying to calm my acquaintance down. But, before I knew what was happening, I caught a few tears dribbling down my right eye. Moments later I walked away, having obviously failed in my mission, with a proud silence.

But my eyes betrayed my intent as they kept reflecting my turmoil inside.

I realised after a while that the pain was that of shock. I'd never before seen anyone curse or swear so much, in person. I mean, movie characters and roadside hooligans had played their parts giving me reality bytes; but to see someone I felt a lot of affection for behave like that was totally uncalled for. Curses against the person I could take; but curses directed towards somebody's parents broke my heart.

I often pride myself in not being very attached to my parents; and probably for the greater part - the superficial one - I'm not. But I'm slowly getting to realise that I'm so deeply indebted and attached to them, that I'd be ready to cry murder if someone even does as much as point a little finger at them.

As I sat thinking, so many things that my mom had told me assumed a new importance. Her words had remained with me, but the meanings behind them struck me like thunder. "It's no big deal to put the other down", she'd say. "True valour lies in making the other realise his mistake with grace, silence and most of all, respect". The importance of not speaking foul and more importantly, of speaking well dawned upon me. The proverb - 'Words have a life of their own....' - assumed an entirely new meaning. I realised how lucky I'd been never to have been forced to face people who had no control over their speech. What a blessing it was to not have had to listen to foul language even in the bittermost of fights.

I thought for a long time...about my parents, about how much they mean to me, about the invaluable lessons they'd taught me, thanking God and praying that I may responsibly pass these lessons to my next gen...before sleep claimed me for its own.

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