FIRST REBELLIONS

With the beginning of junior college, began the quest for finding myself. A school-going kid no more, I did what most teens do - rebel. My rebellion came in the form of an obsession with ISKCON. I fancied that place from the time I visited their headquarters in Mayapur, and when their centre came close to home in Nagpur, there was no stopping me. I’d spend hours at the temple, getting involved in more ways than one even as my parents protested louder and louder. Meanwhile, gathering puppy loves became another favourite game, much to the chagrin of my father. The next few poems were written in the phase where I found love and inspiration in God and some men.


I need your support (1999)
Lord, today I am really alone,
And am feeling very lonely.
I feel I have got none,
To care about me.
Nobody is concerned,
About my feelings.
There’s no one to bother,
About my dealings.
At this moment,
I feel very dejected.
Very avoided and very neglected.
The people who I thought loved me,
Are not by my side,
They have abandoned me,
To face the lone fight.
At this juncture,
I need you Lord,
I need your help,
I need your support.
You are always beside me,
And that I know,
In moments of sadness,
In moments of sorrow.
You comfort me,
When I am disheartened.
You give me courage,
When I’m frightened.
And yet I need you all the time,
All the moments, all the while.
Help me wake up
From the slumber of grief.
Help me be stronger,
And find some relief.
That is all I have to pray,
To you my Lord,
Throughout the day.
In the fight for justice,
In life’s court,
I need your help,
I need your support.

Your role in my life (1999)
I am so happy to have you near me,
And that life’s beautiful, I’m beginning to see.
You have brought back the smile on my face,
You have taught me to run life’s race.
You have brought joys in my life once more,
The joys which I never knew before.
Each time you see me; I feel a gush of pleasure,
So I think of you in my leisure.
You have occupied a very special place in my heart,
Though it’s only a short time since we met,
I fear you’ve become an inseparable part.
The very thought of separation scares me,
I don’t know without you how life’s going to be.
I do love you dearly with my soul and heart,
And our bond will be like “Till death do us part.”
Now you know what your role in my life is,
Do not forget me, cause I never will.


I’ll be missing you (1999)
 Right at this moment, I do not know,
The feeling I have is very new.
But all I can say is that when you go,
I’ll be desperately missing you.

You were my strength when I was weak,
Your love for me was so very true,
You were the help that I did seek,
And so I’ll be badly missing you.

Yu were dear to me right from the start,
Your value in my life I always knew.
You’ll be in a special place in my heart,
And I’ll be sorely missing you.

You’ll always be precious t me, so,
In every little thing I do,
In every little place I go,
I’ll be truly missing you.

I ask you to forgive me,
For the faults more or few,
And I always want you to see,
That I’ll be really missing you.

It’s time for you to leave this track,
And for me to bid you a sad adieu,
I’ll pray to God that you come back,
Because I’ll always be missing you.


I’m always there for you (1999)
If life is a song, I’ll sing it for you,
If life is a gift, I’ll bring it for you.
If life is a journey, I’ll walk for you.
If life is a burden, I’ll carry it through.
All I have to say is that,
Wherever you are,
And in whatever you do,
I’m always there for you.
If life is a mystery, I’ll solve it for you.
If life is a game, I’ll play it for you.
If life is a battle, I’ll fight it for you.
If life is a storm, I’ll brave it through.
All I have to say is that,
Wherever you are,
And in whatever you do,
I’m always there for you.
Because my love for you is pure like dew,
My love for you is really, really true.
In times when you’re sad,
I’ll be there by your side.
In times when you’re in pain,
With you I’ll abide.
Whenever you need me,
Call me through.
Because, my life, my love,
I’m always there for you.

An unspoken relation (1999)
The bee hums by,
And sits on the flower.
Sipping on nectar,
Buzzing by the bower.
Asks the shy flower,
“What is the meaning,
of this bond’s formation?”
Answers the bee,
“It’s an unspoken relation.”
The sky turns grey,
Clouds come fleeting by,
The peacock dances joyfully,
With spirits very high.
Asks the coy bird,
“What is the meaning,
of this union’s creation?”
Answers the cloud,
“It’s an unspoken relation.”
The moon rises high,
Shining in full splendour,
The tuberoses smile,
At his endeavour.
Ask the flowers softly,
“What is the meaning?
Of this affinity’s generation?”
Answers the moon,
“It’s an unspoken relation.”
I come near you,
And see you with arms open.
My heart skips a beat,
My feelings for you deepen.
I ask myself,
“What is the meaning,
of our attraction?”
Yet you answer,
“It’s an unspoken relation.”

Waiting for you (1999)
As the dawn arrives,
And the sun rises,
I wait for it to set,
So that the day soon passes.
But the sun seems to take,
Such a long time.
To cross the whole sky,
As the days crawls by.
A day seems like ages,
When I’m waiting for you,
So eagerly and anxiously,
With love so true.
I sit at the door,
And stare at the road.
Day after day,
Night after night
With such avidity,
At every sound or sight.
Repeating every hour,
“When will you come?
Oh, when will you come?”
I am waiting all the time,
Because without you,
I’m very lonesome.

The New Year (2000)
As the new sun dawns,
In the new sky,
The new dew settles,
And the new birds fly.
Now, I wonder why,
I call everything new
Though same is the sun,
The sky, birds and dew.
Is it an illusion?
Or is it my view?
Is it my imagination?
Or the year that is new?
Maybe it’s the new year,
Which instigates me,
All things seem different,
In whatever I see.
Hoping for the best,
Of all that’s yet to come.
A little bit of sorrow,
And happiness some.
With an open heart,
I welcome the coming days,
And add joy to every life,
That comes my way.

Your eyes (2000)
Your mysterious eyes,
What message do they give?
The look that they have,
Give me the strength to live.
Your assuring eyes,
To me what do they say?
That you’ll be mine,
Near me you’ll always stay.
Your sincere eyes,
What do they speak?
That you’ll hold me tight,
Whenever I’m weak.
Your promising eyes,
What do they tell?
That you’ll lift me up,
On my way if I fell.
Your affectionate eyes,
What feelings do they convey?
That you’ll love me life long,
On every path and way.
Your beautiful eyes,
Have the infinity of the sky,
The depth of the ocean
And the glow of stars so high.
Looking at your gentle eyes,
I’ll live my whole life,
Receiving courage from them,
I’ll win every strife.

Surrender (2001)
I had always lived life
In the way I’d wanted.
Taking things as they came,
Facing life undaunted.
Tragedies failed to rock me,
By defeats, I wasn’t deterred,
Emotions couldn’t move me,
In life, I’d never deterred.
My head was always high,
Held up with ego and pride,
But at that point in time,
You weren’t by my side.
You gave me selfless love,
So much love and ardor,
That it melted my cold heart
And made it your prisoner.
Your love it was
That made me humble and low.
It shattered my pretensions
And faltered my ego.
You taught me what
Life was all about.
It’s love, laughter and care,
Sincere and without a doubt.
Now that I know more
It’s then that I realize,
That with ego and pride I’d paid,
A very heavy price.
Knowing the world better,
I surrender at your feet,
And as a changed person now,
I admit my defeat.